Health & Wellness / Life

Fight and Fight Again…

BoxingWoman

My journey has not been easy. Born into poverty, discord and discontent; I grew. As I grew I absorbed the disharmony which surrounded me. Even today I cannot shake it.

I struggle daily with the unconscious manifestation of past trauma. It reveals itself as negativity, depression, anger and doubt. These feelings, draped upon me like a most unbecoming cloak, are with me almost daily. Each day is a battle, a battle to stay positive, content, at peace and confident. This is no easy task. Not by a long shot. Some days I fail miserably. Other days I do OK.

Joy is unnatural for me. Actually I have a natural propensity towards negativity and depression. I did not choose this. It’s as if this state of being chose me.  I am not alone. I see it in my blood relatives; the discontent and despair.  The struggle seems to have come down through the generations.

I fight, but feel as if I am fighting in vain. I fight to be the unnatural me, the me who is contented and at peace. Why do I continue to fight a battle that it seems I cannot win? I have no other choice but to fight. It’s either I fight or I die. My spirit won’t let me give up. So, I fight generations of trauma. Bloodied and pummeled I stand to fight again. Weary and distraught I rise to fight again. With a smile on my face and the pain of generations in my eyes I fight and fight again.

 

Fight and fight again…

Want More? Check out my book The Not-so-Patiently Waiting Handbook on Amazon today.

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5 thoughts on “Fight and Fight Again…

  1. This made me cry. My feelings and thoughts expressed in a better way than I’d be able to express them. Thanks Dream Girl! Awesome read!

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