Mothers, do you understand how important you are? Do you realize how crucial your existence is to the world?
Your value surpasses that of gold and rubies… You are one of God’s greatest blessings.
I looked up at the ceiling feeling overwhelmed and defeated. Life, love, everything had become too much for me to bare. The darkness had crept in without warning, taking me to the very depths of desolation. Depression had found me and wouldn’t let go. My bed became my shelter. I would stay wrapped in its comfort for long periods of time; staring at the ceiling.
Those were the hardest days of my life. Suicide seemed to be my only recourse. How else would I lift myself up out of this pit? I prayed and asked God for respite from my personal torment. Yet, each day I awoke to face it again. I had come to the very end of my rope. Two fingers remained, my grip was loosening. I would think of ways to kill myself so that my loved ones wouldn’t know it was suicide. Maybe I could make it look like an accidental overdose. They couldn’t know that I suffered this way. I wouldn’t allow them to know.
There was one person who knew of my suffering. She knew when I called out of work and spent my day in bed. She knew when I spent my entire day crying.
In that moment, as I was on the verge of giving up, she knew and she came for me. One morning my mother showed up at my door. She had called out of work to check on her first born. While there, she encouraged me to seek treatment for the heaviness. Because of her I did.
Today I fight depression as if I’m going to war. I put on my armor, take up a sword and prepare for battle every time I see its ugly face. I’m not sure she knows how much of an impact her love had on me. Multiple times throughout that period she dropped everything to check on me. She was the only one who did. The love of my mother saved me and for that I am grateful.
If you are ever tempted to give up, don’t. Summon strength and FIGHT.
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