What are you trying to teach me?
What do I need to know about myself that has eluded me?
What are you so desperately trying to show me?
You come abruptly, without notice; like the ocean’s fiercest waves you swallow my existence. Tossing me to and fro without effort. You are everywhere and have the capacity to fill every moment.
I often wonder if others experience you as deeply and as exceedingly as I do. You are the tyrant I can’t escape, no matter how hard I try. Perhaps I am too sensitive to your presence.
Each day I enter waking reality, knowing there’s a great chance you will appear. Like an unwanted house guest appears at dinner time. I open the door because it seems I have no choice. You push past me without so much as a word and take a seat in my favorite recliner. You stay as long as you like and leave as abruptly as you arrived.
Each day with you I am like a soldier preparing for battle. I pray that when we meet your sword won’t pierce my flesh. But mostly, it does. I fight, I cry, I try to run… Yet there you are getting the best of me almost every time.
You are not to be avoided or denied. For you just are.
Today and tomorrow and tomorrow I continue the good fight in faith…knowing that I will eventually overcome you.